It can be tough to meet people when you’re dating in your late 20s and early 30s. Trust me, I have experienced this first hand. I try and get out and do things in the real world, but I have found that the easiest way to meet potential dates is to employ one or more of the many available dating apps. I’m still searching for my dream man, but I have had lots (and lots and lots) of first dates. I’ll meet my person eventually, plus I’m starting to get a hang of this dating thing. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way.
Tip 1: Get Started – Download Some Dating Apps!
There are a LOT of dating apps out there. These are ones that I’ve used or had friends/family use and been successful:
Has an interesting format – you pick statements you’d like to complete on your profile, which can be anything from “Secrets only my pet knows about me” to “I geek out on…” to “I’m overly competitive about”, which is pretty fun. I also like that it takes away the pressure of trying to come up with a bio! You add pictures, and then people can like or comment on your questions/answers and your photos. From there you can decide if you want to message them. You can message anyone at any time, and they can do the same for you.
One of my absolute favorite couples in life met this way! I tried it, but personally didn’t love it because there is a lot of back and forth before you actually get to talk to a person. If you’re nervous about online dating, this might be the perfect way to ease into it.
The first site I tried. I know several people who met their spouse this way! One of the good sites you can use without a cell phone. It can be a bit overwhelming, as it is another one where anyone can message you at anytime. There can be a lot to sort through.
I’ve had the most luck with this site. Most of the men I’ve talked to on Bumble seem to be looking for something serious. I like this one because men can’t message you unless you match with them. This is nice because you don’t have a ton of messages from random people to sort through. The other interesting thing about Bumble is that women have to make the first move, by sending the initial message. Which brings me to my second tip:
Tip 2: Be Creative With Your Initial Message
“Hey how are you” might work at a bar, but most of the time in an online dating app it is going to be buried in alllll the other messages. You’ve got to stand out! On Bumble, I’ll try and open with a question that is engaging. I’ll look at their photos and ask about specific ones, for example “Where were you in the picture where you’re doing ______; it looks incredible” or “I see you recently traveled to ______, what was the best part of your trip?” or “I see you like to find different restaurants, what is your favorite one in ________(city)?” You get the idea! Make the question personal. If their pictures don’t give me any direction for a conversation starter, I’ll usually ask someone “What is your most unpopular opinion?” It is a fun topic and you get to learn interesting things about people pretty often! It can start a friendly debate sometimes too, which is fun. Give it a try.
Tip 3: Creating Your Best Profile – What Pictures to Use/Bio to Write?
When I’m trying to put together a profile, I plan out what I want someone to know about me by viewing it. I recommend you sit down and write out your 5 absolute favorite things in your life. Things you can not be without! Let’s say your 5 are: traveling, yoga, museums, family, and swing dancing. If I want someone who is family oriented, for example, I will mention in my profile “Love spending time with my family” or something to that effect. One guy said “the bad jokes are my second favorite thing about being a Dad” which was a cute way to share he has kids. I make sure to somehow share each of my favorite things, whether it’s in a picture, (like doing yoga at an exotic location -yoga+travel = bonus pic!) or a picture of me at a social dance. Hopefully someone who shares your interest will see it, and match up with you! Personally, I wouldn’t go selfie or filter crazy. If you need new pictures, enlist a friend and go on an adventure -they can take some of you being your awesome self. Be purposeful with what you share.